bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
