She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
