Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
