Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
