she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
