Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
