I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
