dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
