Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
