Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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