awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
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