I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
