...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize