my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
