we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
