you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Randomize
