Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
