dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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