I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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