youre lurking in front of me
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize