I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
