tonight lets celebrate not being married
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
