And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
