id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
