I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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