Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
