my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
