Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
