but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
