I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize