I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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