Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
