Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
