"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize