so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
