U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
