thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i don't like sucking hair
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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