Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
