The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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