The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
