I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
