Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
