you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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