We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
