I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
