Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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