Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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