Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
