we made out on top of his cat.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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