I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
