he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
