so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
