sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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