Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
