So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
