he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
