He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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