They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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